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Jackson Rolett's avatar

I was recently let go of a technical assistance position after not even six months because of climate-smart grant funding cancelled by the USDA. Getting paid to consult for farmers and pay them, AT THE SAME TIME! How cool was that??? I thought I had arrived.

My wife was glad when I broke the news to her. She said she didn't think it was worth the extra money having to ask for permission for my own time of which there was a limited pool, especially with kiddo number five on the way. Now we're back to farming for our primary income, which has it's own set of challenges, but being able to blow off work for the rest of the day to get ice cream with your kids because mama is tired and needs a nap ain't one of them.

And I've very much been enjoying your writing, especially lately. Keep it up, but only to the extent you keep up with the rest of your life, too!

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Margaret Fleck's avatar

As I read your article, I reflected on how different we are. You have accomplished something with your life that gives you a positive perception of yourself. You understand that part of your self-esteem rests upon your accomplishments. Now, later in your life you have come to understand that there is more to define you than what you do for money. That your "worth," for lack of a better word, is demonstrated through relationships. There are probably many things about your life which you value and increase your gratitude for who you are as well as what you have received from others and the universe.

I come at life from a different place.

By any metric of capitalist society, I would be deemed a failure. How I got here is a convoluted and boring tale. For many reasons, some acceptable, some not, holding jobs have been problematic, nor did I have the means, material or emotional, to acquire the education I would have liked. Now, I am old, mostly alone, and rather ill, watching from the sidelines as the world destroys itself, mourning the loss of wildlife and ecosystems. I read all the time. I think a lot. Lately I received a blessing. I came to understand that had I succeeded with all the things I thought I should have done, those "successes" would have led me to a place I do not want to be. From where I am I see that relationships with each other and the natural world are what give life meaning and purpose. I am grateful that I didn't become part of those who are blindly consuming and supporting an insupportable system.

Thank you for sharing part of your life with me.

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